Lost Remnants Of What We Used To Be.
by Trivher
Summary: 2 song fics. People are feeling sad. From me that must be a huge shock.
1. The first one.

"If I lost My Way"

It's a song.It's a story.Put two and two together you get a song-fic.Which I don't own anything connected to them.****

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**"If I lost My Way"**  
Written by: Neil Diamond and Gary Burr  
  
_If I lost my way  
Would you stand with me  
Would you love me still  
And care for what I need  
If I lost my way_

I do think that I made a horrible mistake.I took the cowards approach to life and ran. Sure I called it a change of environment, but the truth was I was running away.But from what?I had it all, a loving parent, and a great brother who I consider my best friend.There wasn't any unspoken abuse or skeletons in the closet.Still I need an escape so I used Annie is an excuse to get the ticket out of here.Now that some time has past and try in get comfortable in this new world.I can't though.Because the one person I never knew I loved so much until he wasn't there every moment I needed him was missing from my life.  
  
_If I lost my faith  
To face up to the test  
Would I let you down  
Would you love me less  
If I lost my way_

I wrote letters, emails so many I can't even count.Filled with all my thoughts, fears, dreams, and just simply the way I view this world.Never to be send, never to be read by him.Still I feel as if he all ready knows the secret of my heart.Just I want him back, to fell him close by.But it's gone and I'm afraid he will never return.I'm so sorry, I hope he understands that.  
  
_Tell me I'm afraid without good reasons  
Say that I'm a fool to feel this way  
Could it be the me that you believed in  
Is all you really need to make you stay  
If I lost my way  
If I lost my way_

I dream of him, always the same three dreams played like in a loop.One night it's this one and the next it's the other.It's the only way I can see him and pretend all is well.And for those few hours it is and we are all happy.The morning comes; I hate the sun and takes him away.All day I try call up his image in my head but it never comes.Does he realize that I did try?That I do try?Just I'm walking in circles that's getting smaller and smaller, trapping me here.  
  
_If I lost my dreams  
Could I keep your trust  
Promise that our love  
Would not turn to dust  
If I lost my way_

The image of his face in a photograph doesn't help me.It's just not same, it never was.I failed, let him down.I smile to those who care about me, while crying alone.Everything I thought was is now missing.So in turn it's like I am no longer completely alive.  
  
_Tell me I'm afraid without good reasons  
Say that I'm a fool to feel this way  
Could it be the me that you believed in  
Is all you really need to make you stay  
If I lost my way  
Would you stand with me  
Would you love me still  
And care for what I need  
If I lost my way_

Even if I returned home to mom and Jack, along with everyone else it won't change anything.I'll still be reaching, grabbing for him to return to me.Whisper in my ear like a passing wind, giving me the strength to be who I am.It's lost.Completely gone.And I don't know how to live without it.  
  
_If I lost my way  
If I lost my way  
If I lost my way_

I am so sorry.So terribly sorry.Please forgive me daddy.


	2. The second one.

"Reminisce For A While"

It's a song.It's a story.Put two and two together you get a song-fic.Which I don't own anything connected to them.

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**"Reminisce For A While"**  
Written by: Neil Diamond and Raul Malo  
  
_Being here is being where I want to be  
I don't suppose you'll ever know how much you mean  
And for all the heartaches we've been thru  
I know that I could not forget my time with you_

I did something wrong, I know I did.Said too little, said too much, picked the wrong word I'm really not sure which.But I know it was fault.I missed her so much no one or nothing thing could replace her place in my heart.Did she realize that I care more then I am capable of saying?No.Her tears tell me so.I gently brush them a way she doesn't react.Never does, never will.  
  
_I'd much rather stay  
But I'll be on my way  
And never again see you smile  
For all that it's worth  
I'd move heaven and earth  
To just reminisce for a while_

I watch her all the time.Still feel joy when she's happy, and still want to cry when she's hurting.Thinking over things I had known before but never said.Always counting on tomorrow to be there.One day it wasn't.Oh God I wish it was!Just for a few minutes to hold her for a moment.Let her know it will always be ok.  
  
_There was a time I had the will to carry on  
But I let go even though you're what I want  
Could have been to keep you warm when I was gone  
I never knew that near you's where I belong_

Looking back I come to realize I didn't deserve you.I didn't consider others feelings before acting, not even her's.I played her like a fiddle so many times the sound was no longer recognizable.Still I'm not going to question why you stuck around.Or why after all these years you still grieve.  
  
_I'd much rather stay  
But I'll be on my way  
And never again see you smile  
For all that it's worth  
I'd move heaven and earth  
To just reminisce for a while_

I need to let go once and for all.Allow her move on without wondering if she's being watched.I just want her happy, that's all I ever wanted.I'll never stop loving her even the world ends my heart will always grasp onto her love.Before I go I watch her just living life.Wishing I was beside her to dry the dish off while sharing stories of our day.Things we did before, stupid everyday things now gone.Does she realize I'll I want is to give her one last kiss?  
_  
We'll just reminisce for a while_

Does she?Molly do you know?Yeah she knows.


End file.
